The Vulgarity of Wine

October 19, 2007

When Dionysos was officially welcomed into the Olympic Pantheon in the 6th Century BC, he and his ithyphallic (giant cocked) followers, the Sileni, quickly became the most common and popular of themes painted onto household vases. The frank sexuality of wine and satirical (satyrical) plays would be considered pornographic in today’s Christian society, but as late of 691 AD, over 300 years after the pogroms that officially ended paganism, wine was still made by mad men, naked but for their Satyr and Sileni masks, crying out to Dionysos as they tread the grapes as women danced around them.

satyr.jpgIt was that year, at the Second Council of Constantinople that it was forbidden to cry the name of the wine God Dionysos Iakhos, or Bacchus while treading grapes, and that when wine were poured into casks, nobody should provoke laughter by actions which bear the imprint of lies and madness. It was forbidden to dress as the opposite sex. Women’s public dancing was banned. Women dancing in public was considered by the celibate rulers of the church to be the root of all evil. Should anyone be caught transgressing, they would be officially excommunicated from all society.


Ever since then, ever since the end of the pagan age, a puritan wind has blown over everything, and everything once considered Dionysian, except for wine, is now considered evil. But wine needs a raw sexuality, a certain measure of vulgarity surrounding its upbringing in order to fully flower, a little bit of the horned god, you know? It’s important for you to realize that under optimum conditions, the wine that you drink is still made by salty men of the earth, and in mostly Spanish, but also ancient Mayan dialects and a bit of English too, men sing and curse at the top of their lungs.

A report from the vineyards, harvest 2007: The men respond favorably to two newly learned swear words in English: “Dingleberry” as in, “You are a Dingleberry,” and “Douchebag” as in, “You are a Douchebag”.

They also respond favorably to my teaching the new intern learning to say “Sacate los pedos, buey,” meaning “suck the farts out my ass, buey”

A note: A buey is a castrated bull, a steer. A buey can be a term of affection, but said to a stranger, can lead to fisticuffs. Buey is pronouned only softly pronouncing the “b” often sounding more like “Way”.


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